Category Archives: Money

How to Make $2000 in Under a Thousand Words

I have discovered something wondrous.
The golden cash cow! The tree that grows money. The goose that lays the golden eggs! Did you know that people are out there offering thousands of dollars in exchange for a short essay? They are called scholarships. I recently discovered them while cruising the information superhighway in search of ways to pay for school (Can you believe I was actually looking at jobs!?). The first one is for $2000 and all I have to do is write 600 words about some doctor’s quotes:

“Is it always the rich that prosper?”

I say no. I say that only those who are fulfilled prosper. Although it may seem awfully kitschy to say so, I think that true prosperity comes from being happy with ones current situation. The definition of prosperity is “to do well.” If wellness were categorized merely by wealth, then the rich would be much more well behaved. but wellness is the symptom of a culmination of satisfaction. Be it spiritual, circumstantial, or financial.

Prosperity is elusive and we can see clearly in the rampant greed of the wall street culture  that money does not inherently bring satisfaction. In fact, when money is the sole objective and not merely a means to an end, there can be no satisfaction. “Unlimited growth,” the rallying cry of capitalism, spells out this unfettered desire and constant hunger: They are the zombies of our time. But prosperity is not so easily found among the poor either. The truth is that prosperity is not something that can be obtained. It must be attained, and the first step is to realize that you are not prosperous. Once the path has commenced, the second foot will follow the first. A question must be asked: “Why am I not satisfied?” and a decision must be made to rectify the situation. Without this decision, you will remain mired in apathy wishing desperately to be freed from inaction. Similarly, if the first step has been skipped you will continue on fruitlessly, never finding satisfaction because you will never know when you have reached your goal.

If you are among the lucky ones, you may find that you had reached this goal long ago and simply failed to realize it,  or you may find that you are much closer than you thought. You may also realize that you have a long way yet to go, if this is the case, take solace in knowing that the road has an end.

300 words in… I discover that this is, like, a contest… There is no guarantee that I will get the cash. Oh well, I’m a good writer. I can totally win this thing!

Let us return to the concept of prosperity.  I said it was  satisfaction in one’s current situation. I would gnomically express that, although one need not be rich to prosper, those who prosper are rich. Too long have we equated riches with money. You, my friend, might be satisfied  with a wealth of knowledge, a wealth of  friends, or a wealth of spirituality.

Is money necessary for satisfaction? Well, it depends. I could fall in love. My love and I could find an unclaimed patch of land. We could build a home, a cozy cottage by the lake. We could plant a garden, raise a chicken, and a cow. We could live, uncomplicated and at peace. I could be happy in this life. I would be satisfied in my love. I would be satisfied in my work, and I would be satisfied with my life.

But I cannot live in the woods, my life is in the  city.  And living in the city, I must indeed have money. How much, you ask?  If  I could make enough to live more than I worked, I would be satisfied. If I had money to spend on my mind and heart, not just my body, I would be satisfied.

Oh. … It’s a public voting competition. I am supposed to pepper my friends and acquaintances with a barrage of voting requests. Burying them under a plenitude of apathy and annoyance.

But… I’m already 500 words in… Another 100 won’t hurt, right?

So, no! You don’t need to be rich. You need open eyes, to see what needs to change; an open mind, to know what to do; an open heart, to accept the change; and the will to take the first step.

Prosperity requires a plan and a choice. Some are not given the ability to make that choice. That is why those of us who can must realize the privilege we are given and fight for everyone’s right to choose. Because what’s the point of prosperity  if  we don’t do it as the whole human race.

Well, I’m sober(ed) now. And I can clearly see that I was a fool to expect money to be free. I will never (I swear!) be fooled like this again.

Oh hey! I just got an email from this Nigerian prince! He wants to give me money! Will keep you posted.